The first few meditations are filled with exciting and challenging emotions. Ego loves to set expectations for these early sessions with suggestions. It whispers comments to the mind like “you’ll be a great mediatorâ€, “you should already have serenity†or “you can sit like a zen masterâ€. The reality in any new situation is that it’s different, you will struggle, and will have to learn how it works. Meditation, of course, is no exception to this rule.
Another experience when starting meditation is seeing the Mind operate. This can be a bit daunting for a beginner, going from a silent place, to a busy highway with cars going 100miles an hour. It’s a stark contrast that gets worse before it gets better. After seeing the 100mile per hour cars on a 3 lane highway, a few sits later, and the highway appears to now be 6 lanes, then 9, then 12. You appear to be going further away from the peaceful place where you began.
This apparent backwardness is the start of progress. What’s happening is you begin to see further and deeper into your mind, which is the process of slowly quieting it. Once you begin seeing how it operates, the lanes will slowly drop off the highway themselves.
Your meditative practice is to keep observing the cars on the highway of your mind. If you get more lanes on your road, that’s fantastic, if they drop away, that’s just as fantastic. We aren’t in control of our Mind; we are observers of its process. Consciousness, with time, and patience will eventually remove the road all together, without you even trying. In the mean time, sit back and enjoy the ride.
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