“No thing in this world makes us happy”
What do you think about this quote? Do you agree with it, or disagree? Initially I thought this was saying that happiness doesn’t exist. Sitting further back, reading it slower, the quote developed a totally different meaning.
I now understand that happiness is not external, but an internal state; literally a state of mind. That it’s not things or symbols or connections that grant us happiness, it’s how we view and relate to things.
Happiness is developed internally, reaching out and connecting externally to sense objects. Lasting happiness comes about through Changing your mind, (to) Change the world, not forms of instant gratification.
Cultivating internal states of happiness develops a free, lasting, and stable form of happiness. When we require external ‘things’ for happiness, sadness and disappointment are sure to follow. External things end, they don’t always arrive when you want them, creating states of craving and aversion. Even if these things do arrive, as soon as they are no longer new, it’s becomes a matter of “what’s next”.
Everyone has a story of about the external, unstable kind of happiness. It’s maybe furniture, maybe a car, or maybe clothing;
Before it’s purchased, there’s excitement and anticipation; talking about it to all.
When it arrives, there’s elatement; showing it off to the entire world.
A few weeks later, there’s nothing; the object which hasn’t changed, no longer brings the feelings of happiness to the owner, it’s just another thing, and the searching has begun again. What happens through this whole journey is shifts in mind states, which create this up and down happiness.
A year ago the weather used to make or break my mind states. If the sun was out, I was happy, if it was not out, I was sad. Since letting go of this external reliance/attachment of weather, every day is a happy day, regardless of what it’s like. Every day is it’s own day; it is all it can be.
Understanding and cultivating internal and mind states of happiness, is a constant happiness, relying upon nothing but itself. This happiness is non-ending, always growing and expanding what makes it happy. Go on, develop your own internal happiness.
(Credit; photo)
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Is it possible then to have an external “thing” give internal happiness though? For example a high performance sports car. If every day you drive it, it gives you a thrill, no matter how long you’ve had it, does this end up becoming internal happiness? Or is this still a sort of misplaced internal happiness being extroverted? In this case, can this “thing” make us happy?
Hi Marcus,
Thanks for the comment. If you become reliant upon the car, or any external thing for happiness, it’s not real happiness. External items regardless of what have craving for them to generate happiness. And when they go/die, as they eventually will grief/sadness is going to ensure. Happiness is reliant upon no thing…..
Peace,
Wade
But what if an object becomes an extension of yourself? Take for example a skilled swordsman. His weapon is purely an extension of his skill. Having a sword destroyed will not bring him/her any sadness. Rather they will obtain a new one to once again complete their extension.
I guess this is rather a separate point to the one I made above, but I think perhaps it was the original intention of my first comment.
It comes down to the relationship to the object. If there’s attachment/possessiveness to the object, loss of the object will bring about negative states of mind.
I don’t know any skilled swordsman who would not be devastated by losing their sword. No two swords are the same, they see their sword as an extension of their body they know it so well. To lose their sword is to lose something that is irreplaceable….
Peace,
Wade
Come to think of it, you’re right. Losing a sword could be on par with losing an arm or leg.
But this brings forth a new point…
So, we use our limbs, our minds, our hearts, indeed our whole body and being, to help us obtain an internal happiness. These extensions aid us in our quest for happiness as they are considered “internal” to us. A part of us.
So how then is having an object, such as an arm or a leg, or in our example a sword, not part of our quest? The loss of it will bring sadness, yes, but if these extensions are a necessary “thing” to have on our path to happiness, would they not then bring happiness, albeit in a more indirect form?
I couldn’t agree more with what you write here. I have learned through meditation and the practice of mindfulness that in every moment there is happiness. We might have to concentrate to realize its state of presentness—but it is there to be sure.
Often I see happiness in a sad moment by being aware of the birds on our feeder. Or concentrating upon a delicate, beautiful flower swaying gently in the breeze. Sure enough, happiness is always present for us if we simply awaken to it. And to be awake is one of the main tenets and goals of Buddhism for as we know the name Buddha means the awakened one.
There is one thing that makes you happy and it is you. You make your self happy by expressing love. You make your self unhappy when you express the emotions of fear. You can express love for a car, the experience of driving it, a sword, or you body. Whenever you are expressing love you are in a state of happiness. The degree and quality can vary. Sometimes the love you express is powerful and focused. Sometimes the love you express is quiet and peaceful without a specific direction. In any case the happiness you feel is usually from the emotion you are expressing.
Hi,
I agree that nothing material in this world can bring us ever lasting happiness. All things in life are subject to change.
I believe that Happiness is a choice and comes from deep within us.
My humble view.
WaterLearner (Singapore)
I’ve still been thinking about this, even so long after Wade’s original post.
Although happiness is purely a “mind” thing, we still need our body for the mind to be present. The body is nothing more than a thing, much like my previous analogies.
So, although true happiness can only be obtained from within, we still require external “tools” to help us reach this state of mind. No object itself will create a lasting happiness within, but rather can help nurture and assist the soul in the pursuit of this goal.
What a great site. I love your post about happiness. I think that it is very true, nothing material can provide lasting happiness. There is certainly a temorary joy that comes from possessing something material, but all material things a ephemeral and of no lasting importance.
Great Post!!
Hi Marcus, Great to know you’ve been contemplating. I am honoured my ideas have been given a few cycle.
You got it
External objects and tools do exist and are used for the internal. Humans need external thing food/shelter/clothing and medicine, for survival, The Buddha taught as much. What this post/teaching is about is that it’s not the object that provides the happiness, but the relation from within; something you now get.
There’s no need to renounce objects at all, it’s about being mindful of the connections and attachments we place and rely upon externally. The cultivation of internal lasting happiness, not the external.
THP; Thank you for your comments, I shall be on your blog very soon
Thanks again,
Wade
If the brain is an object which provides this inner “witness” with the input to form attachments and create sorrow, is it not also this brain which introduces happiness? Disengagement may loosen the dependence and conditioning upon objects but the biological impulse to use these techniques for greater happiness exists as well.
In times of great external/physical distress the brain can be overwhelmed and a mind conditioned to favor happiness through detachment may find no solace from this internally generated emotion. Although we can choose overattachment to things, the very generators of the experience of duality, sorrow, and bliss follow us to the grave as they are inherent in our construction.
Those with merely passing concerns can disengage just enough to be at peace themselves but the real tests of life may force us to eschew happiness too when physical torment is an everpresent thing. Judgements label these feelings, but our bodies have evolved to force a response to the extreme objects of experience even as we ponder them as illusions. Illusion too is a judgement. Conditioning oneself to moderate all attachment is an ineffable process. On the one hand there are these techniques of meditation but on the other we often neglect the possibility of cultivating resistance to suffering through trial of fire, some physical training which incorporates those dreaded objects of displeasure. True discipline utilizes all aspects of the mind so that every experience becomes a tool to reach that ineffable spot.
Happiness is the state of being one with what is happening. It is not the same as gladness. When we become one with what is happening, then “one”, “happening” – and “happiness” itself – vanish.
i liked what you said but one bit got to me, “A few weeks later, there’s nothing; the object which hasn’t changed, no longer brings the feelings of happiness to the owner,” i agree with you overall point, but things like musical instruments can provide a lot longer than a few weeks!
@Antoninus; Thanks for your detailed comments and interesting ideas. I’d love to talk more offline….
@rick;Namaste, looking beyond, through. Thank you for your insightful perspective.
@chris;Great example
It’s not the instrument that makes you happy, generally, in that case. I dare say it’s the ability to learn, grow, express yourself, the joy of the notes, the harmony/dissonance/etc.
I was trying to talk about objectual happiness/reliant happiness in this post. Where the new instrument, rather than the playing of the instrument is “the source†of happiness.
Thank you ALL for your great comments, they’re challenging, insightful and offer great perspectives.
Namaste
Peace,
Wade
Hi all. Happiness is a state of mind that one can achieve with relative ease. Staying that way is the hard part. There are so many things out there that can distract you from happiness. but that i call a shallow happiness. The deeper and more meaningful happiness is not that easy to achieve but once you have, it spreads like wildfire to those around you. At least thats what I like to think. I’ll leave it to you deep thinkers to debate or debunk it.
I agree with it completely. All things are ephemeral and have no ability to outlast themselves. People who focus their attention and pursuit on things are always disappointed.
I believe that true happiness is a state of mind that everyone can choose. But, what is sadness? Is this a duality of opposites? Somehow it seems that true happiness is much more than the opposite of sadness. Sadness is a choice too. However, when you find real happiness it transcends material existence. Can that happen with sadness? I am not a sad person but for some reason I started thinking about this. It boggles my mind to think that someone could sink into an equivalent but opposite state of sadness.
Oh well…enough of that. Thanks for the post Wade. It was fun to comptemplate the nature of happiness for awhile.
Is that not what pure and utter despair is?
Hi Jerry,
I would say true happiness is beyond dualities. Whilst your still attached to the labels of happiness and sadness, you can not truly be happy. You’re dependant upon something. True happiness exists even when sad, as it’s not dependant upon any state, and accepts things as they are. Where I’m going with this is that it’s not a state of mind, it’s beyond labels, conditions, and mind.
From my understanding when there is no desires or attachment, we live nirvana. How this could be anything other than the feeling of letting go after holding your breath I don’t understand. When there is nothing there is nothing. Putting a man-made concept on that place just doesn’t seem to work for me.
Looking at this from Buddhist Philosophy, we look at the 6 realms of existence, and at each end of the scale is heaven and hell. Beyond that, outside of that chains and wheels of existence is true happiness and nirvana.
May all beings be happy.
Gassho,
Wade
Wade,
I think I see what you are saying. Many years ago, after prolonged meditation and self-examination, I stumbled into a most amazing state that cannot be defined with words. It was like being in a state of extreme peace, love for all that exists, bliss, unconditional acceptance, belief of indestructibility and much more. This is what I was thinking about when I posted my first comment. Happiness and sadness are opposite emotions in the world where most of us live. But, the word happiness does even come close to defining the existence of nirvana and states one goes through on the path to nirvana. Thanks for helping me to clarify this.
Jerry
Wouldn’t sadness fall under insecurities? And happiness/love go hand in hand, which is our natural state of being.
The mind may get concerned about being disarmed and letting go of all its concepts and scripts. It might say, I may not get what I want. And I say, you’re dammed lucky if you don’t get what you want!
After experiencing lifetimes of a variety of religions. And awoke to the mystery of our being. I’ve chosen not to follow anyone. My role in the present moment as far as identification goes has snapped and the mystery realizes, “Oh, this is what I am! I thought I was the one over there with that agenda. I thought I was the actor of roles. I thought I was the roles. None of that is true. When the role called “I am a human being” ends, that is death. It’s a lot easier if you let that role die before the body dies, and let it be put to rest now. This is awakening to being what we are eternally and have true life.
Last week, I was confronted by a friend who is mormon. And, he asked if I believed in Satan? lol
I told him no. And that this conversation has ended. Thank you.
My family has disowned me. So I am experiencing aloneness. And to say the least, I am grateful. Because, I’m not sure how to relate to them at this time.
I’ve discovered that this mystery has its own movement, which I suppose is what real surrender is…..following that movement. This is the real meaning of “Thy will be done.”
Sorry for ranting. What a hideous dream this has been..thinking those things were needed for me to be happy.
Someday, hopefully we’ll all throw in the towel and say how silly and immature we’ve acted.
Love & Peace
Wade I would like to write you privately. How can I reach you?
This quote reminds me of something the Dalai Lama would say. His face lights up because he is happiness incarnate. Its meaningful to separate the happiness concept from meanings imposed by the physical world. I would make an analogy with peeling an artichoke. When you remove all the leaves, you reach the core truth. It looks, feels and tastes different than anything on the outside. Like the artichoke heart, happiness is an unexpected, multisensual experience that defies expectations and assumptions.