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What are you holding onto? Where are you stuck? What’s keeping you from moving forwards? These questions continually help me find out what’s going on, and break through. It may seem a bit odd asking yourself questions, but funnily enough, you know what you need deep down, and the answer is usually pretty surprising.
I re-remembered the importance of letting go whilst rock climbing. Climbing to the top of the wall, you have to jump off the wall, knowing, you’re going to fall a few meters before the machine kicks in catches you. You don’t look forward to falling, and hold on for dear life at the top of the wall until you simply couldn’t hold on any longer. Your body aching, arms shaking, struggling to breathe. Slightly before collapsing you take a breath and let go. What a relief. The rope that had caught 1000’s of people before catches you also, delivering you safely to the ground.
The whole way down you grin like an idiot. You were so tense at the top, holding on, your whole mind and body involved with keeping up the wall. Physically and Mentally strained and stressed to your maximum limits. When you let go, there was nothing you needed to do and you relaxed again. You came back to my natural state, and felt calm again. You realise that it’s holding that was causing the pain and suffering, that letting go and accepting is painless and easy. You see that it was fear that had you holding on so tightly, and that this fear was a mental story you created, sitting outside of reality.
Try for yourself
A great way to test out the principle listed here at home, and I suggest you do try this whilst read. Clench your fist as tight as possible and as small as possible, making a small ball. If you keep going you’ll end up in pain, and naturally, you try to clench tighter thinking somehow the pain will lessen, but of course it gets worse, so you clench tighter, and the pain gets worse, etc etc. Eventually you won’t be able to hold on any more, release your hand. No energy’s required to release, yet all the pain starts fading straight away. It’s the act of holding on that causes pain, letting go releases it. (This test/idea comes from Deb Inside’s Letting Go)
Investigating with theses questions, What are you holding onto? Where are you stuck? What’s keeping you from moving forwards?, will help you release. And just like the example with our fists, once you find where you are stuck, and let go(Zencast Podcast on topic), the pain goes away itself. Try it out, and let me know how you go. (photo)
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Hey Wade,
I tried it. Your right, letting go felt much better.
Thanks I needed this one. Great message about fear being just a story we tell ourselves! We like our stories don’t we?
Thanks again, visiting The Middle Way is always a refreshing experience.
gassho,
Greg
Not being able to walk more than several yards is my biggest sticking point. Another major one is getting out of bed in the morning, which takes me about half an hour. My whole day is a kind of rock climbing or triathalon of getting out of bed, getting on my shoes and boxer shorts, which is as far as it goes, and getting my bed ready for the night.
Actually, there are a number of equally exciting events like the chair mount/dismount, but those are the highlights – ooh – and I’m about 90% shooting for the kitchen basket with a stiff armed underhand throw with either prune juice bottle or parmelait container, which I goes in with a pretty finger roll for the finish.
PS Obviously I didn’t mean, “which I goes in.” I try to avoid doing that. The self-extrication from a header into the kitchen basket is beyond my capabilities and likely to remain so.
Hey Wade,
I LOVE the post. How you were ‘re-remembered’
the letting go by falling off the wall should provide
you with quite a memory.
I actually wrote my own ‘Letting Go’ message back in
January. I was sharing a parenting experience from
almost 5 years ago…...
I hope you won’t mind me sharing a link to my message…
http://deb_inside.typepad.com/deb_inside/2008/01/letting-go.html
@Greg, thanks for trying it out and getting back to me. Glad you were able to see
Thanks for the kind words too.
@Paul, Interesting situation. I heard the ex-Abbotess of San Francisco Zen Center speak of her issues of getting out of bed. She said one day she had enough deliberating about getting out of bed in the morning and decided that she’d for once and all decide to get out of bed whenever the alarm went off. In the 40 years since, she’s never had to think of getting out of bed, and never had a problem getting out of bed. She made the decision, and now lives it….Perhaps something to try?
@Deb, Thanks for posting the link, I was trying to find some other stories of people letting go when I was writing but couldn’t find anything in line. What’s funny is re-reading your entry now, I found I used your example, which I read a month or so ago, and turned it into my own. I totally got the idea for you after trying it and finding how amazed I was at the literal ability to see tension. I’ll update my post to link to yours for that. Feel a bit guilty for internalising your content…At the same time it was well written, I internalised your content
May all beings be happy.
Gassho,
Wade
Dear Wade,
I’m thrilled and flattered that it was something VERY useful for you.
That you did not recall where the inspiration came from is of NO consequence to me.
IF the tables were turned, I have NO doubt
that you would feel the VERY same way. :)))))))
xo xo
Deb
Letting go in small ways is something that happens everyday but the most significant point in my life was letting go of a past relationship. The pain and suffering was more than I thought I could bear. Alcohol, drugs, and sex only made the suffering more extreme. That was my jumping off a wall. Then I started to meditate…AHHH…relief at last. Just about the time I reached a beautiful state of peace, I started another relationship and found chaos once more. Twenty years later, still in that relationship, I now know that there is more than one path to peace. You can jump or you can walk softly into the sunset.