Recently I took the opportunity to go on a personal retreat for a few days. I went down to, Kiama, a very lovely place. For my retreat I packed a few books, my laptop, my camera, some incense, my Zafu and Zabuton, and in a last minute dash, I picked up my Kannon, purchased from the markets in Mount Tremper, near Zen Mountain Monastery.
I’d been thinking I needed more focus on Compassion, I found it apt I picked Her up and not my Buddha. So after unpacking the vitals, and settling into Kiama, I decide to make my alter for Kannon. Looking around for an altar, my first thought being of using a table. Eventually I found the Plasma TV. Smiling, I knew I was going to place the Timeless, Open, Compassionate Loving of Kannon on top of what is considered the modern altar—TV.
Kannon sits beautifully on top, looking as graceful, peaceful, and compassionate as ever. The contrast in metals, the harsh steel and the soft copper tones. Such balance. Her water, her compassion ready to pour onto the world. Her hand, open and accepting. In meditation, on an open Lotus Petal. She is here and now.
Noticing this, I bow 3 times, full prostration. It hits me. On the way down, I become this compassion, my body growing heavier and heavier as I sink. As my head touches the ground, I’ve begun shaking. I raise my hands above my head, homage to the Buddha, and my hands get REAL heavy. There’s weight on them, like that of Sakyamuni Buddha standing on my feet.
My heart breaks.
I start crying and get up in reverence, and again, begin to cry some more. I look at Her in earnest, she smiles and accepts me.
I go down again, and again feel the world’s suffering. I struggle to get up. I breathe, shakily getting up, down and up again, still sobbing. Getting up again, I steady myself, bow away and bow to life.
(The photo at the top of this post, is a photo of the journal entry I wrote directly after this experience took place. Photo can be viewed in greater detail here.)
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Once again, Namaste Wade!
Thank you again for sharing your ‘enlightening’ experiences with us! Once again, you have taught me something about what it means to you to be a Buddhist and how the simplest actions can create profound and emotional experiences.
-cw