We can be physically in this world, but mentally trapped in a world of stories. When we get attached to stories in our mind, we drift away from reality. It’s through this drifting that Fear surfaces. The mind keeps building the story, adding twists, turns and doubts, pulling us further away from reality. The further away from reality we get, the stronger our Fear grows.
You tell me that you’re splintering, unable to maintain your facade, now unsure if you’re still in love with your fiancee. You tell me that you spend no time with her and no time planning for the wedding, instead analyzing your actions and how things would be if you were alone. You feed this circle, worrying, second guessing, becoming more and more fearful. How you are is not how you are meant to be. You worry that she loves you more, and that you may not love her because you’re trying to keep it all together mentally. Trying to keep this image of sanity takes more energy and ability than you have to give, leaving none to be present.
This is no way to live, consumed by Fear. We need to let go of what we thought, what we expected. We need to let go of our attachments and ideas. We need to be with whatever is happening right now. The actual is always better than our stories. When we let go of our stories, we become present and accepting of the actual. When we become present Fear, without any doing, simply dissolves.
When we have no attachments, we have no fear. In the Heart Sutra, the foundation Zen text, it is said that this is Nirvana. Nirvana’s literal meaning is to extinguish—To put out the stories, and be present.
Sitting meditation’s a great tool for cutting through the stories. When we sit, the stories surface in our mind. Bu we don’t run or cling to them. Nor do we add to them. We keep sitting, keep breathing, and let the stories go. Soon enough the stories run out of energy and dissolve. Through meditation we bridge the physical and mental gap. We come back to reality, lighter and more alive.
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I see fear as the basis for most every negative emotion. Especially anger. As I’ve looked at my own moments of anger, I’ve been able to trace them back to fear, however subtle.
Thanks for this post, Wade. My wife and I were working with just this point earlier today – how to unfold ourselves to one another without accusation or defense. It’s hard work and has to be done in real-time. Sitting on the cushion provides some stability for the work of relationship, but certainly doesn’t substitute for it.
I love zazen but for this particular case – dealing with fear I have a different meditation aproach.
It is too long for a comment but you can read my post @ http://buddhaofhollywood.blogspot.com/2008/10/to-fear-or-not-to-fear.html
Hey Wade,
Yeah the stories really do serve to tie us down. I’ve had so many flooding into my head lately—- it’s been hard to concentrate on anything.
I am glad that I keep reminding myself to just drop them that the past is the past and it’s no more . . . just a story nothing else.
I feel grateful for my practice and for those around me like you who their finger pointed towars the way—- it’s an extraordinary journey, through the ordinary.
It is so easy to get trapped by our story and even more so if that story is fed by experiences we feel were unfair or victimizing.
We do have a choice as to whether we live in the past or let go and embrace each new day as a new beginning.
Have a happy new year filled with many blessings.
Hello Wade!
Found this page by searching for “idiot compassion”...and what a gem it is!
Been going though various posts and taking delight in the wisdom passed on, and in you for making this…and in the warm responses. Makes me feel more connected…Thank you!
This post is one of my favorites. Reading it reminds me to stop the habitual storymaking, and so eases the feelings of fear, anxiety and separation that so often come up…
With warm regards,
Peter (Zen practitioner, Sweden).
Very true, when we let go of the stories, we find peace! We accept the moment which we are in and realize the beauty of where we are.
amen! a lot of benefit comes from just looking at what you feel aversion to (aka fear) and realizing that 99% of the time its rubbish in the mind. now crystal clear days
Well stated point. Releasing the stories to which we cling is the basis of the Buddhist practice. I for one, need to keep practicing
Roger
I was just reading something similar on another blog about how stories can become intoxicating. We get something from our stories and therefore daydream our lives away more and more and for longer periods of time. It’s so easy to wast life away in this manner.
@Paul, Fear is certainly behind a lot of stories. I’d say all negative emotions stem from one of the 3 poisons.
@Barry, Great to hear you doing the work with your wife. It IS really hard to unfold. ‘We’ get so defensive. It’s really rewarding to come out of the other side of such exercises. Of course, you’re right, the cushion helps, but it’s the start. It’s our practice for our real world ;).
@Buddhaofhollywood, thanks for sharing another method.
@Greg, “an extraordinary journey, through the ordinary”. Indeed it is. Hopefully the stories have settled. I’m very proud of you, and happy with you for going through Jukai the other week. It’s great to be sitting with you from the other side of the world.
@Lea, We all have the potential to let go of the story. Letting go of the first story, and taking each moment and day as it comes isn’t easy.
@Peter, searching the internet for “Idiot Compassion”. Nice one searching, and finding :). It’s a great term isn’t it. First time I heard it was by Daido Roshi. Thanks for the compliments on this website. Glad to hear it’s been helpful. Gassho.
@Mark, Thanks for your comments.
@Dan, Glad to read you’re living this.
@Roger, The mind is like a leaky boat, with zazen/meditation being the bucket to bail out the water. We all need to keep practicing
@James I’d be interested in reading which blog was writing about that. It’s sad that most dream away their lives. It’s great that the tools to fix it are right infront of us, if we’re willing to do the work.
May all beings be safe.
Gassho,
Wade
Some human beings are unsure what it means to exist and be aware outside a life story. Each person is writing an invisible story and weaving the tapestry of illusion beside. The evoltuion to self-recogniztion and self-realisation is a process that awakens a dormant soul.
Excellent post! Thanks for sharing, I will be back again soon.
Wade – This is a great post. I’m new to Buddhism and meditation and am amazed how what you describe has just come to life for me since I’ve been practicing. Until I began to practice I didn’t realize how my stories in my head were affecting me. Now, I’ve had little tastes here and there of what it can be like to let go of all that and just be. Thanks for the great post!
IN gratitude for your gift of sharing this heart sutra. Being present is a timeless process.
Have you been away on retreat Wade ?...
Its been a long time between posts
This timeless wisdom is complemented by thoughts, images and sensations unseen.